I am a Catholic man who, just a couple months ago, entered his thirtieth year of life and, I’ve got to admit, I’m feeling more confused about relationships than ever.
I’m currently in a relationship - we’ve been dating for five months - and, to be honest, I don’t feel great about it. On paper though, things should be fine. She’s devout. She’s intelligent. She’s virtuous. She’s pretty. Perfect, right? From how I’ve been raised in the Church, I’d think so!
Yet… I often find myself “uninterested” in her - especially compared to how I felt about partners in previous relationships. But those other relationships didn’t work so… maybe I was wrong to feel that way? I should mention that I’m “turned off” by a handful of her other qualities too, but I give some grace there because I think that will be the case in any relationship. I always treat her the best that I possibly can despite all this and I’ve been honest with her that I’ve been feeling this way at times.
I just always have this nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right and have to constantly fight against the temptation to end this relationship and consider relationships with other women.
A friend recently expressed some concern too and told me he’d support me either way but, “you know, I don’t think you run the risk of crashing and burning here. I know you and know you wouldn’t go into anything that wasn’t functional or wouldn’t work in the end. But it really seems like you aren’t passionate about her and are just willing to settle because she checks the right boxes for you. I just want you to be happy and want you to think about this a little harder because I don’t want you to end up in a passionless marriage.”
I’m scared because I think he’s right, but also concerned because feelings can be so fickle and, as Catholics, we are supposed to prioritize reason over feelings and I feel like the feelings are the main thing causing me issues right now. And, in this sub, I’ve seen a lot of takes that make me question myself - like a woman who said she wasn’t ever attracted to her husband but that he’s a great man and father so she couldn’t be happier so not to worry about things like that.
Does anyone have any thoughts they can share with me?

We have been acquintences for a few years now on Facebook, but after we met at Charlie's we have been seeing each other for at least two months at this point. At start neither of us, not me for sure, imagined or planned anything regarding it, but it turned out to be pretty fun, emotional, and I feel that we match on both a personal and an emotional level, so all this feels quite balanced.
We talked a lot, around three weeks or a month in a row (messages, voice, in person), and there were days when we talked from mornings to evening (not constantly, but we messaged every hour or so at least) but then we had a week, when conversation stopped (so zero messages). I was ready to let go, because I thought the person is not interested.
However the he told me we need to speak, and told me he wants to be with me. I agreed, and we said that it should be mutually exclusive, but a week later, the he told me that the he changed his mind and we should not be as he was confused, and a bit afraid, but mostly confused about past things, feelings, relationships. I decided not to meet again, but since this was a day together at the Zoo and at a restaurant, we decided not to ruin the day, so we went on with it. Before by the way we had physical and emotional contact, in person, and spent several nights together, and not as a ONS. Later on as the evening progressed, we got closer and at some point he said he loves me. Which was super confusing for me. I mean up until this point I was ready to go, but I do not know anymore. As I feel the same. So I replied, that I do too.
What to do in a situation like this? I have been in a situation where I wasnt stable, and he said he does not wish to hurt me, that is why he withdrawed, because he is not stable and not ready, and does not want me to wait along until he is alright or until he decides. Which is great of him I think, I appreciate it. But then how can he love me? And if he does then why it is so complicated. Maybe it is me, but love is something that does not come easily, I cannot offer it to most people and certainly if it happens, I want to stick with that person.
And then he said it several times later that day and spent another day together. At first I said we should not meet anymore, but I am so confused because of this. You can also see his struggle, being torn between something and this.
And I am confused, because I do not think he just want to use me for a ONS or that he lies but I also know that you either want something or not. and if you want it more than not, you will fight for it and do not say this then that.
I am afraid that if I stay, I will get hurt, I will get more involved emotionally, then the inevitable moment will come when he just leaves for that other person or to "think things through". I mean if someone is committed they will just go with it. But also I know that life can be complicated, and even with the best intention things are not so black and white emotionally, and it can be often confusing and painful. I do not wish to chain this person to me, I want him to genuinely want to be with me, but nor I want to just let go, because that would feel like I do not care that much.
My mind says, flee while you can, while you are not torn apart lying on the ground like pieces of a glass, as this person is undecisive which is probably more a NO then a yes and also something lingers there that can backfire, but my heart says, that if I give up on something so precious and matching, I would be more sad and would always think about what would have happened. And it says, that if I stay not and if it goes haywire and he leaves then at least I had that love, I pursued it and put everything in it, and it failed not because of me. And it would hurt, hurt like hell, but at least I do not need to live with the crippling "WHAT IF" feeling for my whole life, knowing I let something, someone go whom I can imagine as my lifelong partner in "crime" and life. Of course it still in its baby steps, but I feel the potential and the possibility, as the synergy is unusually great.
Also I am not the type of person who wishes to cling around, if not wanted, I have my pride, so it is not about that. I also do not want to convince myself, but if someone says they love you that is serious business, is it not?
Maybe I should listen to my mind and flee, bury and kill these feelings, or listen to my heart and stay and see how it plays out. If I decide to stay, I can stay close and enjoy happy time. I do not want to deal in ultimates and force anyone into something like that. I want it to occur naturally or not at all. Maybe I should just give him time to think.

my partner and i have sex less frequently and passionately now after three years of being together. i’ve always known they were agender since day one, but i’ve been seeing them post on tiktok about it every now and then and the experience they go through. recently they participated in a trend where you blur out the parts of you that are your biggest insecurities, and they blurred out their breasts and groin areas. bad move on me for asking at this time, but in the middle of sex i was asking if they were okay with me still touching their breasts and how i saw the tiktok and i just want to acknowledge anything i’ve been doing wrong up to this point, and they coldly told me they were fine with it. turns out that’s not the sexiest thing to bring up and they mentioned how it was turning them off when i brought it up, but we haven’t gotten closure on the situation. i know they were telling the truth, but now i’m really concerned if this is part of why we aren’t sexually in sync anymore.
of course they enjoy sex with me in their own way, but it feels much more distant now and i’m wondering if i’ve been fucking up this whole time and they just didn’t want to tell me? i want to be the best boyfriend possible and make them feel wonderful in their own way, but i need to understand that with a verbal discussion and i can’t ever get that out of them. i desire more than anything for them to open up to me about their experience, and i know it’s hard for me to understand as a cis person but i love them more than anything! it’s been three years so how ready does someone have to be to start opening up about their gender experience, especially for the sake of a fragile bedroom of all things? i’ll do anything to figure them out if it means i can make them happy like before and desire won’t have to be one-sided like it is.

Long-term rental properties can have many advantages, like an extended lease length that provides a constant cash flow for landlords. However, all leases must come to an end, which means learning how to properly go through a lease renewal is an important part to being a landlord. A lease renewal is defined as an option for the current tenant to continue living in a rental property for a specified time period which is agreed upon by both parties – it also outlines certain rules and conditions regarding the property. According to Rental Housing Journal, 62.7% of renters renewed their leases in 2022.
If you’ve secured a great tenant who you get along with, treats your property nicely, pays rent on time, and hasn’t given you any trouble, you’ll probably want to seek a lease renewal with them as soon as possible. On the other hand, not seeking a lease renewal with some tenants is a great way to find a renter who is better suited for your property.
We’ve compiled the ultimate guide to help landlords navigate the lease renewal process in order to answer any and all questions you might have – check it out!

Pros and Cons of a Lease Renewal

As with many things, there are both pros and cons to a lease renewal for you and your tenants. Whether you want to renew leases for multiple tenants or just one, it comes down to determining what the best option is for you and your rental property at the time.
Pros

• Keep good tenants: No landlord would argue that keeping good tenants is a bad thing – they might not come around often, so keeping renters you have a good relationship with is extremely beneficial.
• Potential for a long-term renter: Long-term renters mean you are reducing tenant turnover and you’ve also secured a steady income with someone you know will pay rent on time.
• Eliminates the time and cost of searching for new tenants: As a landlord, saving time is very important, especially if you have another job. Renewing a lease means not having to market your property or go through the rental application process again.
• Reduces risk of vacancy: Filling vacancies isn’t always an easy task which is why a lease renewal is key. You won’t have to worry about potentially losing money if you can’t find a renter.
• Tenants are already familiar with the lease terms: Having a tenant that already knows your rules and policies – and respects them – will ensure they will continue to follow them in the future and take care of your rental property.

Cons

• Limits on rent increases: If you’ve secured a great tenant and they want to continue to live there, it is more difficult to increase the rent – especially if it’s necessary for the current market, you risk the chance of tenants not wanting to renew their lease for a higher price.
• Limited opportunity to renovate: A lease renewal often leads to a long-term renter – with an occupied unit you won’t be able to renovate which, in turn, might reduce your ability to command higher rent that an upgraded unit could pull in.
• Difficult tenants may not move out: Tenants who cause issues with you, your property or the neighbors might want to continue to live in your unit – although you want to avoid vacancies, this could lead to future problems.
• May let rules slide: While you might have picked great tenants you get along with, some landlords get too comfortable with their current tenants and stop charging late fees, etc.

Eliminate the Cost of Finding a New Tenant

While there are many free tools to help you find new tenants, rental turnover still has a high cost attached to it. The cost of tenant turnover is both a financial and timeliness one – for example, advertising, maintenance and cleaning costs can add up.

Why a Lease Renewal Isn’t for Every Tenant

While you might have the perfect tenant staying in your rental, some tenants might not accept your lease renewal offer for a variety of reasons. Many times tenants don’t seek lease renewals for lifestyle changes, such as, they get married, get a new job or are moving somewhere closer to their families or work – they might even be moving out of state.
Life happens, so staying flexible and understanding in this situation is in everyone’s best interest. It’s also important to remember they don’t owe you an explanation on why they’re not renewing their lease with you. If they aren’t renewing their lease for such lifestyle changes, you should remember this if they need a landlord recommendation later on down the road – if they were a good tenant then it is always a courteous thing to do.

Finding New Tenants

If you eventually need to find a new tenant – don’t worry. There are many outlets and tools to use these days that will easily help you find tenants who will fit well with you and your rental property.
Online Marketing: Marketing your property on all the major listing sites will help you fill your vacancy faster – marketing syndication will allow you to do this with just one click instead of having to go to each individual site and post yourself.

• Online Rental Applications: Paper rental applications are a thing of the past. Online rental applications are faster, easier and more secure. Having potential tenants fill out their applications online will allow you to instantly keep a digital record without having to organize papers.
• Lead Questionnaire: Sending a lead questionnaire to each lead who expresses interest in your property on a listing website will enable you to learn more about them and ask any questions you’d like – such as pets, smoking, desired move-in date, etc before having them formally apply.
• Social Media: While you can post your properties to Facebook, social media is also a good place to research potential tenants to make sure they are trustworthy and someone who you want to stay in your property.

Tenant screening is an essential step in the search process. You want to ensure you know exactly who you are renting to as you want to be positive they will be a safe and trustworthy individual. Tenant screening can include many things from hard data to soft attributes and qualities like the following:

• Background Check: Getting a standard background check to view any criminal history will allow you to make sure the potential tenant is trustworthy.
• Credit Report: Credit reports will show that your tenant will be able to pay rent in full and on time.
• Eviction History: Contacting past landlords as well as knowing about prior evictions will help you decide if this is a good applicant for your property or not.
• In-Person Meeting: If all of the hard data looks good, meeting a potential tenant is sometimes a great way to determine if their personality will be a good fit.

Guide to Offering a Lease Renewal

While it might seem like a simple process there is a proper way to offer a lease renewal to your tenants. You want to be as professional as possible while giving ample time and consideration for your tenant to decide what to do. Here is a quick guide on how to offer a lease renewal:

1. Determine the Lease Renewal Period

Generally, the lease renewal notice period should be 90 days before the current lease expires to give a good amount of notice for both you and the renter.

2. Send a Lease Renewal Letter

A professional lease renewal letter is a great way to communicate with your tenant about their options; it should include when the current lease expires, what the new lease’s time period would be, and the rent price (whether it’s the same or increasing). For example:
Dear (TENANT),
I want to let you know your current lease will expire mm-dd-yyyy! I have thoroughly enjoyed having you as my tenant and you’ve been a great renter. I want to offer you another (one-year, six-month, etc.) lease at the rate of $/month. Please let me know if you are interested by mm-dd-yyyy – if so, I’d be happy to send you the new lease and answer any questions you might have. Thank you so much – I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
(NAME)

3. Draft a New Lease

Even if you only want to make minor adjustments, a new lease agreement is necessary for both parties. Write and update your lease to include any changes including policies, rent terms, rent prices and any other information you want to update. It is also important to check state-by-state laws and lease inclusions that may be necessary.

4. Sign the New Lease

Remember, nothing is binding until both parties have signed the new lease! Send the new lease to your tenant and once they review and approve you both can sign and file away until next year.
The lease renewal process can be quick and efficient if done properly. There are, however, many factors and additional options for landlords to think about before and after the process.

Other Lease Renewal Factors to Consider

It’s important to recognize a lease renewal is not always a black and white process. While it’s true it can be simple, there are additional factors to consider for the future of your property.

Does My Current Tenant Make a Good Fit for the Property?

Sometimes the tenant you selected to live in your rental was more difficult to get along with than anticipated, caused issues with neighbors, damaged the property or didn’t pay rent on time. In this scenario, a lease renewal might not be the best option. Instead, you could take the lease expiration as an opportunity to find a renter who will be better suited to your property.

Will I Want to Raise Rent in the Future?

Whether you’re leasing to inherited tenants, or you’ve decided that keeping your current tenants is of high value for you and your property long-term, you could consider lowering the rent or keeping it the same. On the other hand, sometimes the market may call for an increase in your rent prices. In this case, being open and honest to your tenants about this change might still encourage them to stay. You could also consider sending a rent increase letter to be as professional and transparent as possible.

Lease Renewal vs. Month-to-Month Leasing

If you aren’t necessarily looking for a long-term tenant or your tenant is unsure about their time frame, a month-to-month lease is another option. There are pros and cons to both a lease renewal versus opting for the month-to-month option.
Some things to remember with a month-to-month lease: you can and should raise the rent since it is such a flexible and less-secure option, it’s usually only for a brief period of time and it will expire upon 30 days notice from either party. A lease renewal, however, will provide more stability as it is usually a long-term agreement for one-year or more.

What is My Property Worth?

As a landlord, it is important to stay up-to-date on the current rental value of your unit. How do newer units in your neighborhood compare to yours? Furthermore, have you made any updates to your unit that would put it at a higher value? All of these things are important to consider if you want to get the most out of your investment. The rental market can change frequently, so being informed will help determine if you need to lower or raise the rent to make a fair and good profit.

Lease Renewal FAQ

Below are some common questions you might have about lease renewals or the lease renewal process.

1. Does a landlord have to renew a lease? No, a landlord does not have to renew a lease with the same tenant if the current lease has expired. If a tenant asks to renew their lease, you can tell them you are not offering renewals at this time – sending a lease renewal rejection letter is not required, but a courteous thing to do.
2. What happens when a lease expires? When a lease expires, the tenant is required to move out based on the ramifications of the original lease. If they did not accept the lease renewal they must move out, so your future tenants can move into the property.
3. What is an automatic lease renewal? An automatic lease renewal is a lease period that renews every month, every six months or every year for the same amount of time. This arrangement can continue on until a landlord or tenant ends the lease.
4. What if your tenant wants to negotiate a lease renewal? Sometimes tenants might negotiate maintenance updates like painting or new appliances in order for them to sign another lease with you. Investing time to update your unit would be beneficial for the future, but you could negotiate back a longer lease renewal, such as two years, for those updates.

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A lease renewal is a very important process and should not be overlooked. Going through the process properly and professionally will be beneficial for both you and your renter – and, you might end up finding the perfect tenant. Lease renewals will enable you to keep good renters who are already familiar with the lease terms, save time and money from having to fill vacancies and increase the potential for a long-term renter. On the flip side, you might have limited options to do renovations, have more difficulties raising rent and might let your rules slide a little bit after getting comfortable with the tenant.
Finding ideal tenants from the start with the use of online rental applications and tenant screening will make the lease renewal process much easier and filling vacancies easier if necessary. If you’re looking to fill a vacancy or learn more about online rental applications, TurboTenant can help you with the process.
What questions do you have about renewing leases?

Since Apple introduced MagSafe on the iPhone 12, Android users have been left in the cold regarding compact, reliable, and magnetic charging solutions. While some manufacturers have started experimenting with something similar to MagSafe — like the cool but China-exclusive Nubia Z40 Pro — we are still far away from slapping any old MagSafe accessory onto some of the best Android phones. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some workarounds out there.
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TL;DR: Cutting my sister off after she decided I wasnt allowed to plan my own graduation party.
This story happened over the span of a week and requires a lot of context but I'll try to condense it to the best of my ability.
I 18(f) Just graduated Highschool, I do online school and wasn't able to do a walk or ceremony at my school so planning this get together was very important to me. I've been planning it for months, of course it wasnt of top priority as I was focusing on acing my senior courses but I graduated at the beginning of April so it became top priority. I'm also the only one to graduate highschool out of my entire family, they all dropped out and I worked hard to make sure to graduate with honors. This was really important to me.
My sister 25(f) had asked about planning a surprise party for me, I told her " thats nice but im already planning a get together, do you want to plan it with me? " Something that was reiterated in our conversations multiple times.
Me and my father were covering the cost of the get together, (decor, food, games, etc.) this was already established in our conversations leading up to this.
In the groupchat it was clear no one was respecting what the original plan was and going off track to what they wanted to do. Trying to cancel the get together without my approval to go out to eat at a cheap buffet instead when we had already invited distant family. This has happened with things in the past, such as my birthday, dinner events i've planned, etc. So I told her and my father, " This is my celebration, Im going where I want and doing what I want. Don't say you were going to plan a party with me if you weren't going to ". To which she responded and told me I was being rude. Yes without context that sounds entitled but we had discussed how hurt I felt canceling plans I made to do what others found fun but being told that Im going to do what they want on their celebration?
Then it took a complete 180 of her telling me that the graduate isn't the one who plans it anyway and she's been discussing with our grandmother to do it at her house, and I need to stay out of the way and focus on school; " Im the one paying for it so I dont need to check every detail with you " ( I had been done with school for 3 weeks at this point, she knew I had been planning this ) Im the one paying for it, and what is overbudget my dad offered to cover. Then we kept going back and forth about things we had already discussed. I finally ended it and said " no we're not doing this ... bc you've made a spectacle out of this for attention... You knew we were planning this together..."
She then blew up in my dm's telling me how much of a b*tch I was being, saying I'm not planning it etc. To which I sent her all of the screenshots of us agreeing to planning it together and her then pretending we weren't in the groupchat. She kept giving me reasons to either excuse what she did or justify why she should have total control; " so you can focus on school" I'm already done. " so you can save more money " I've been saving for this for months. etc. I Canceled the Party entirely and she was tried to offer me a necklace or a card with cash to appease me.
I extended an olive branch to her and other family to attend a dinner, ironically to my obliviousness It was a restaurant she had sent my dad of the one she wanted to go to, that my dad decided to make reservations at. She completely ignored me the entire time and asked my dad questions about my life, what I was doing after graduation, asking about the car I was financing, etc. I finally interrupted and tried to have a conversation with her " Im the one financing the car-" " I know dont be rude- I was just asking so I know how much money to give" I was done. I stayed quiet for the rest of the dinner and told her before leaving that if she has questions about my life she needs to be asking them to me and not my father. To which she responded " dont be rude your being rude"
I ended this a day later asking if her pride and ego was that important to throw away our relationship ( I had found out she was texting my dad saying If i didn't get off my high horse it would cost us our relationship and I wouldn't be allowed to see my nieces anymore. ) with the screenshot of her message with my father. To which she responded still saying she was the one who was planning it and I wasn't allowed to see my nieces anymore.If cash gifts dont work to appease me She threatens me every time we've had an argument in the past of with either physically threats or not being able to see my nieces anymore. Mind you I would understand if they were involved but their not and have never been involved in any of our arguments. Typically I'll just agree with her so I dont have to deal with the conflict but this was and is really important to me and she knew that. I dont think I want her in my life anymore. She's shown how little she values me time and time again and the only purpose I seem to serve to her is so she knock me down and look better in front of others.

Hi,
I know that the plural of fish is fish when referring to multiple of them, but I also know that we can say "fishes" to talk about different types of fish in general: halibut, cod, haddock, salmon and so on.
On a restaurant menu, what would be the best word to describe a section with multiple fish dishes? For some reason, I always find "fishes" wrong.
What are your thoughts?

Hello! Well, I’ve broken a new record and managed to wait an entire 3 weeks after completing our last cruise before booking the next. Haha. That said, I have a few questions some of you more seasoned cruisers can help me with.
For background, Our last cruise was on Allure and before that in Indy. I was on Voyager years ago. We have been to Coco Cay before. Our last cruise was Roatan, Cozumel, and Coata Maya. Partner did the Discovery scuba in Coz, so didn’t get to see the good stuff scuba wise but will be cert’d by the time of our future sailing so we’d be able to have some better dives. We aren’t into the party life so that part (esp in port) doesn’t matter to us. Also, we’ve been careful to always book after spring break and Easter and before graduation season or the end of school. We have nothing against the kiddos, don’t want to be overrun with little ones (or midsize ones) zooming around. Below are the two we’re considering and they each have their pros and cons. I’d love some feedback please! I’d especially like to know about included dining options since neither ship appears to have a Sorrento’s and I’m not sure if the info I found on the Solarium bistro offering late night pizza is accurate or old. I also read that Windjammer on Enchantment takes orders and delivers tableside in the evening but again I don’t know if that’s old information.
Adventure: Curaçao, Aruba, Coco Cay. May 10-17. Pros: school still in session and Solarium has a hot tub. In-port hours are longer. Haven’t been to 2 ports before. Cons: more expensive (though would be paying for fewer excursions so may be a wash.) Didn’t find snorkeling in Coco Cay to be that great (we didn’t spring for the water park admission.) Unsure: What the diving is like in either port (that may turn into a Pro; we are more into swim-throughs, walls, and coral than wrecks).
Enchantment: Roatan, Belize, Costa Maya, Cozumel. May 23-30. Pros: Cozumel and Belize diving which I know I like and partner hasn’t tried yet. Less expensive. Cons: School out. No hot tub in Solarium. Probability of Memorial Day traffic on the drive home is high (driving 8 hours). Edging closer to hurricane season.
So, throw me your feedback! I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. Aaaaand GO!

I can hear my downstairs neighbour’s music in my walls - they kind of resonate a little and act as a giant speaker membrane, so while the sound isn’t exactly loud, it has a clear presence in the room. If you put your ear to the floor you can hear it as well, but the floor is 2x 5/8” OSB with 3/4” hardwood over top, so way more mass than the walls.
The wall is 1/2” drywall over studs; there’re is spray foam in the spaces between studs, but not a full 3 1/2” inches, so there’s about an. 1 1/2” ~ 2” of open air floor to ceiling in the stud bays. The wall plates sit over the OSB subfloor, and I can’t guarantee there aren’t air gaps to below, but I tried my best to seal them all when building.
My idea is do drill small holes for each stud bay maybe a foot above the floor, and spray in that rattle can “big stuff” foam. I’m hoping that cutting the air column in two will reduce the carrying / resonant effect.
I can’t seem to find anything conclusive googling around, thought I’d ask here. I wish I’d known about this when building, I would’ve used channels or clips or mlv, or even doubled up the drywall on that wall.

So for work I have a lunch meeting at a fancy steak place. I looked up the menu and on the FAQ it says to talk with your server about what the chef can offer. Can I come with meal ideas based on the menu and ask for something like mac n cheese with a side of asparagus? What's the best etiquette here? I haven't really been to a fancy restaurant (or worked at one lol) so idk what the best way to deal with this is.

I have mild narcolepsy without cataplexy, and going to start 100mg of modafinil tomorrow. I was hoping for any opinions on what I could do to tweak my schedule now that I’m going to start this soon :)
So, My doctor just suggested taking one in the morning. I’m curious to hear how everyone takes it and if they have any side effects. I’m a little worried about how it’ll affect my work and gym schedule and when to best take them.
Typically I work 4 days a week. It’s a little wonky but this is how it typically goes-
Monday: up at 545, work 7am until 6pm, Tuesday: up at 445, go running/excersize, work 7am-5pm Wednesday: up at 545, work 7-6pm Thursdays: up at 445, running, then work 7-4 or 7-6 I do get a break to nap when and if the toddler sleeps, but it’s not guaranteed
I will say, I used to run after work but I was so zapped by the end of the day from the crazy kids, and it would also make me super wired for hours after if I ran in the PM. I switched to morning runs 3 weeks ago, and it’s been okay- it’s hard to wake up that early, and I feel my runs aren’t as strong in the AM, but it’s better than the afternoon runs. Another thing is on my rest day I cannot sleep in for the life ofme now. I end up waking up at 5 on my rest days and just rolling around praying to sleep. Not sure if my body does well with the irregular wake times.
So, I’m going to start the modafinil tomorrow. I’m kinda looking at it like this/, I can either: 1- Take the modafinil at 4:45 M-Th and just get up every week day at 445, even if im not going to exercise. The benefit would be hopefully my body will adjust to being up that early. Downside is I’m also worried about crashing at the end of the day when it wears off. I would need to go to bed at like 8 though and that doesn’t leave a lot of free time at the end of the day. 2- Take the modafinil at 5:45 and hope that it keeps me awake enough to run after work. Downside is it might make me have trouble falling asleep since I’m running in the pm, but I can play around with my bedtime routine to help. Also, less free time in the afternoon. 3- go running before the modafinil, take the modafinil at 545 after my run. Wouldn’t be as awake for my run.
I don’t plan on taking it during the weekends unless I need to.
Any suggestions or advice welcome, I’d love to hear your experience!

PC
Character Name and House: Loras Flowers (Crane)
Age: 19
Appearance: Despite being born of a union between Andal and Valyrian, Loras’ appearance hardly reflects the mixed parentage. His hair is made up of the jet black semi-curls of his father, and his face largely resembles him as well. His eyes are the deep cerulean common among Cranes. Physically, Loras is tall, with broad shoulders and an athletic frame, which can be accredited to his days horse riding and training. His skin is tanned due to hours spent in Red Lake, though his face is prone to burning.
Gift: Duelist
Skills: Swords (M), Knightly, Riding
Talent(s): Fishing, Being Handsome, Attention Seeking
Starting Title(s): Ser, Bastard of Red Lake, the Black Crane, Wielder of Epitaph
Starting Location: Red Lake
Family Tree: https://www.familyecho.com/?p=FGWG3&c=4i52wiwt4k&f=655015851654171969
Alternate Characters: Lyonel Reyne
AC
Character Name and House: Brandon Flowers of House Crane
Age: 19
Appearance: His eyes are purple and his hair is white. Pretty handsome too if you ask me
Gift: Agility
Skills: Swords, Shields
Talent(s): harp playin and poem writin
Starting Title(s): The White Crane
Starting Location: Red Lake
Family Tree: same as above
Say My Name, With Your Sunlight Veins - Birth
They came into the world together, not even a minute apart from each other. One bore the cerulean eyes of his father, dark pools of moonlit sapphire. The other’s burned the lavish purple of their mother. The color of royalty, of privilege. The color that heralded dragons.
They knew the warmth of their mother for so brief a moment. She was there, breathing in that instant, crying tears of relief and of anguish all the while. In the next, she was gone.
Then there were no hands to cradle them. No whispers to coddle them. No lips to kiss them asleep. Only the ambivalent touch of a maester, and the hollow replacement of a wet nurse.
They cried, although they did not know their own sadness. They laughed, although they did not yet know humor. And for those silent months where a city held its breath, they learned to breathe. One puff in, one puff out, in perfect unison.
One Step Away From Crying - Months After Birth
When the war was finally over, the King’s City knew laughter again. It also recalled despair. Sons returned to their mothers, husbands to their wives, brothers embraced their sisters. But for every heartfelt reunion there were twice as many funerals.
Not every life was lost on the battlefield.
When Arthur Crane arrived at the capitol, he stormed the halls of the Red Keep searching for his lady love. He was all too late. She was gone, meeting the seven Gods in their Kingdom. All she had left were the twins, and a message upon her lips that left the Reachman cold and stiff.
He did not stay long enough for the parades. He didn’t care for a soldier’s honors. He didn’t want for medals, or titles, or ceremonies. The only thing he yearned for was lost to him. Forever. He remained to meet with the new King. He said the words, he was dismissed. He gathered his two sons, the boys Viserra had left to him. And he was gone, down the roseroad. Back to face his fate, his family, and his failures.
Running Through the Cold Air, Searching for Our Meaning - Young Childhood
They made it to Red Lake, the boys born of a love forbidden. The castle was not so large as the one they’d come from, though to a toddler it made no difference. It was there they met their brothers and sister. Garlan, the eldest, who always regarded them with kindness, even if there was a certain distance to it. John, the second oldest, who didn’t seem to take much note of them at all. Braxton, the middle child, who found his greatest entertainment in the teasing of them. Steffon, who took a quiet interest in them. And Margaery, who was the closest to them in age, and never found a liking for them.
More important than any of their siblings, however, was the Lady of Red Lake, (NAME) of House (NAME). Of all the people impacted by the arrival of Loras and Brandon Flowers, the one most affected proved to be the one least deterred. (NAME), the proud mother of the Crane brood, felt the shame rise in her as she learned of her husband’s infidelity. Yet still, she was wiser than many and kinder than most. She knew better than to make children suffer for the mistakes of their father. She raised them among her own, treated them as Cranes of true birth, rather than Flowers of ill-blooming. And she managed to make a family out of them. They grew as close as any band of brothers ought to. And Arthur did what he could. Arranging for wardships with the nearby Lords that had sons of similar age. Slowly the pieces began to fit into place. Pieces that formed into lifelong friendships.
“You guys aren’t very good at this game.” Braxton complained aloud. Brandon muttered apologies, waving his hands about. Loras frowned deeply.
“You’re not very good at this game.” He countered in response. Braxton slow-clapped his reply.
“Very clever, little brother.”
Loras rolled his eyes.
He was right, the Crane. The twins weren’t very good at rats and cats. Loras didn’t understand why the rats couldn’t just fight back. Brandon didn’t much like the running away after he had been found. Their vices made for a very dysfunctional trio of game partners.
“Could I play with you guys?” A voice rang out from behind them. The three brothers wheeled their heads around, settling their eyes upon a young boy. He had sandy blond hair and eyes of pale gray. He was short.
“Who are you?” Brandon asked with a tilted head.
“Yeah, who are you?” Loras asked with pronounced suspicion.
“I’m Ethan. Ethan Shermer.” The boy spoke calmly.
“Shermer of Smithyton?” Braxton chimed in, “You’re Lord Cody’s son?”
“He’s my uncle, actually. But yeah.” Ethan replied. Braxton merely shrugged.
“Alright. You can play with us.” Loras decided. “But there’s a condition.” The boy from Smithyton nodded.
“What is it?” Ethan asked.
“You have to play the rat.” Loras said. Ethan smiled.
“I always do.”
You’ve Got Mirth and I’ve Got Snow Hands - Childhood, Early Adolescence
Loras and Brandon continued to grow over the years. Their friendship with Ethan turned into a true bond between them, and before long the three were made pages, cupbearers and squires. They served Lord Arthur himself, whenever he could be roused long enough to attend a tournament for their sake. Most of their training took place in Red Lake itself, against the quintains and training dummies strewn across the yard.
At a squire’s tourney the three boys are made four when they come across Addam Shermer, the fourth son of Cody of Smithyton. Addam is an idiot, but a loveable one. After some reluctance from the Lord of Crane, Addam is admitted into the growing number of wards in the custody of Red Lake.
It is not but a year later that the same quadrio is unhorsed in consecutive tilts by one Leo Hutcheson, the self professed Heir to the Suncage. He is a few years their senior, but their altercation sparks a conversation, which leads to a friendship. Leo is allowed by his father to visit Red Lake over extended periods of time.
In the next year, one Triston Bridges arrives at Red Lake after being removed as a ward from Holy Hall. He is slow to open up, but finds a connection in his innate ability to help others.
Jace Graceford enters a self imposed exile after being condemned by his father, the Lord of Holy Hall. With nowhere left to turn he arrives at the gates of Red Lake with nothing but the clothes on his back and the sword on his hip. He is wroth with any strangers, unapproachable at the best of times and outright petrifying at the worst of them. Triston Bridges vouches for him however, the two sharing a kind of connection that allowed them both to be vulnerable. Given time, Jace comes around to the Boys of Red Lake, and becomes a fierce protector of his friends, though he is still adversarial to most others.
The behemoth of a “boy” grunted as his axe slammed into the shield of his opponent.
Loras Flowers’ teeth rattled at the impact. Jace Graceford was a beast by any metric. Taller, stronger, and more vicious at arms than any of the other Boys. The bastard marveled at his power, and cursed the fact that he’d drawn him as his sparring partner.
The axe slammed down again and again. Loras checked with his shield. His forearm flared hot with pain from the effort. He brought his sword low to earn him some ground. Jace swatted that attempt with his own shield, then laid down the assault.
He made Loras yield, though it had not come without work. The bastard had been disarmed twice, first his sword, then his shield that he’d tried to use in its place. His knuckles were bloody from that poor decision, but he took Jace’s outstretched hand all the same. After the fighting they were brothers. No matter what.
They watched the rest of the Boys spar after their match was over. Addam bested Brandon. Steffon defeated Ethan. Then it was time for Triston and Leo. Bridges was no match for Hutcheson, not really, but no one ever got better fighting someone they knew they could beat. It went as it always did, Leo’s extra size, experience, and finesse worked circles around the slighter built Triston. Instead of yielding, the redhead kept on coming, even after he’d been smacked in the chest and head. Loras remembered a time where that would have set Jace off, sent him into a frenzy that only Triston could pull him out of. Now they all had that kind of bond.
When it was over, Leo’s hand stretched downward, and up came Triston.
After the fighting they were brothers. No matter what.
Chin Held Shut, So My Heart Can Talk Louder - Teenage Years, Present
It was all so sudden when it came crashing down. (NAME) had been expecting, her and Arthur had finally seemed to learn love for the sake of themselves, and not expectations. This child was meant to be the last. The one that carried them all into the future. None of them could have known how it would end.
She died in the delivery room. Just like their other mother had. And she left them a brother, who Arthur named Aemond despite his grief.
It was all so quiet afterwards. Red Lake forgot how to smile in the months following her death. Garlan couldn’t take it, his mother’s death only seemed to drive him further away from their Lord father. John finally stood still long enough to be spoken to. He seemed to regret all the years he’d spent shirking his mother’s affections. Braxton cried, and vowed to never go a day without praying for their lost matriarch. He kept his promise.
It took years, but they healed. It wasn’t obvious when, but at some point they felt joy again. They laughed, cried, won, lost. Life continued, no matter how hard it was, and new resolves were born in the aftermath.
Loras and Brandon swore an oath to each other, with all their companions at their side as witnesses. They would earn a name for themselves, as the Oldflowers’ had done, as the Vikarys had. Just as their mother had wished for them.
NPCs:
Jace Graceford, Heir to Holy Hall - Axes (o)
Triston Bridges, Scion of Red Crossing - Medic)

Okay so I never thought we would actually have this problem but here we are.
If someone’s name is not on the address line of the invitation envelope, then they aren’t invited. That’s the way I was brought up to think.
Two cousins of my fiancé reached out to give me their RSVP. both invitations were addressed to “Mr & Mrs X”. No other names were listed. The text I got from both were “we will be there. 2 adults and 1 child”
I’m starting to question if I was just taught wrong and it’s actually normal to assume everyone in your household is invited regardless of how the envelope is addressed???
I also want to point out that we would have LOVED to include children in our guest list but our caterer is only able to serve a certain amount of people and it was either have kids come and cut out good friends, or have the friends come and not have kids. My fiancé and I both felt it was best to just cut out the kids as they won’t fully comprehend how special of an occasion a wedding is, whereas adults will.
I could kick myself. I was going to specify right on the invitation that “X amount of seats have been reserved for you” but then I decided not to. I ended up making a special post on our wedding website that says “due to multiple reasons, we ask that only those listed on the invitation envelope/rsvp section of the website attend. We gave the option for guests to RSVP on the website or by texting me. I guess I just thought more people would utilize the website but it’s not appearing that way. I’m just so upset with myself for not going with my initial plan.
Okay, thanks for letting me vent!

Hi my partner and I have gathered £20k in Moneybox Lisa plus 5-8k in savings plus we’re able to save roughly £2k a month atm, my has a checked history and accumulated two ccjs the come off of the credit report in October and next February his credit report is hindered but hasn’t had any defaults since the ccjs, both which are satisfied. I was wondering what would our option be as we’re ready to buy now and are currently looking at between £200-250k houses which aren’t at the top of our borrowing power, I was just looking for advice on whether we should wait until ccjs are clear, so we can get the best possible rate or if we find the perfect house and just go for it now and get a 2 year fixed and remortgage along the way. And also what would the monthly repayment be on a £250k mortgage with £25k deposit and one person with bad credit and ccjs? My credit is perfect with a high score and zero defaults