Cave creek golf course photos

This post is part of a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' (and occasionally rhyming) recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon exists (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
You can find an index of every post I've made on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "prefigures" and/or "informs" and/or "is reworked by" and/or "finds a recursive 'rhyme' in".
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 7 left off. You can read Part 7 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

Smallfolk Who Do Not Know Them

What about the rest of what we read about Petyr's sight-seeing field trip with Sansa? What about that fact that most of Petyr's smallfolk do not "know him"? And what about that hermit? I submit that all of this—

Farther inland a dozen families lived in huts of piled stone beside a peat bog. "Mine own smallfolk," Petyr said, though only the oldest seemed to know him. There was a hermit's cave on his land as well, but no hermit. "He's dead now, but when I was a boy my father took me to see him. The man had not washed in forty years, so you can imagine how he smelled, but supposedly he had the gift of prophecy. He groped me a bit and said I would be a great man, and for that my father gave him a skin of wine." Petyr snorted. "I would have told him the same thing for half a cup."

—is a masterful kaleidoscopic reworking of several aspects of Theon's homecoming chapter. I'll explain.
As Theon approaches Lordsport, he thinks of a few faces he thinks he might find waiting for him, including one Sylas Sourmouth:

As the Myraham made her way landward, Theon paced the deck restlessly, scanning the shore. … [S]urely his father would have sent someone to meet him. Sylas Sourmouth the steward, Lord Botley, perhaps even Dagmer Cleftjaw. …

We'll see shortly that Sylas is a dead, smelly wino, just like Littlefinger's hermit.
When Theon makes landfall at Lordsport, none of the "smallfolk going about their small business" know him, nor does he know them:

[Theon] saw no familiar faces…
[The captain:] "I've brought your heir back to you."
The Lordsport men gazed on Theon with blank, bovine eyes, and he realized that they did not know who he was. It made him angry. He… strode down the gangplank. "Innkeeper," he barked, "I require a horse."
"As you say, m'lord," the man responded, without so much as a bow. … "Where would you be riding, m'lord?"
… The fool still did not know him. He should have worn his good doublet, with the kraken embroidered on the breast.

When he later enters Pyke castle, Theon again knows no one and no one 'seems to know him', so to speak, save the "old crone" who keeps the castle for Balon:

The gates stood open to him, the rusted iron portcullis drawn up. The guards atop the battlements watched with strangers' eyes as Theon Greyjoy came home at last.
A pair of gaunt children and some thralls stared at him with dull eyes, but there was no sign of his lord father, nor anyone else he recalled from boyhood. A bleak and bitter homecoming, he thought. …
A bentback old crone in a shapeless grey dress approached him warily. "M'lord, I am sent to show you to chambers."
"By whose bidding?"
"Your lord father, m'lord."
Theon pulled off his gloves. "So you do know who I am. …" … "And who are you?"
"Helya, who keeps this castle for your lord father."

So clearly the smallfolk of Pyke "did not know" Theon, whereas he is at least recognized by Helya, the "old crone" with a position in Balon's castle. It's easy to imagine "Prince" Theon bitching:

"Mine own smallfolk, yet only the old crone who keeps Pyke for my father seems to know me!"

That entirely true statement would, of course, neatly prefigure what's said about Petyr and his "own smallfolk" during his sight-seeing 'field trip' with Sansa:

"Mine own smallfolk," Petyr said, though only the oldest seemed to know him.

Note the recursive use of the term "know" there:

• Theon: "They did not know who he was"; "The fool still did not know him"; "So you do know who I am" → Petyr: "Only the oldest seemed to know him"

And note that we don't see Petyr having any more idea who any of his smallfolk are than Theon does who his are (or who Helya is): Yes, "the oldest seemed to know him", but as with Theon, there's no sign he knows them. (Maybe he does, in-world, but the text is silent.)

Recognition & Barnyard Eyes

Meanwhile, Theon being recognized by Helya — an (a) old crone and (b) Balon's castle-keeper — seems to be reworked when Petyr makes his landfall at the Drearfort, when he is verbatim "recognized" by all save the youngest of his castle household:

Servants emerged from the tower to meet them; a thin old woman and a fat middle-aged one, two ancient white-haired men, and a girl of two or three with a sty on one eye. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks. "My household," he said. "I don't know the child."

GRRM's odd choice here to write, "When they recognized" him…" rather than e.g. "When they saw Lord Petyr…" or "When they realized it was Lord Petyr…" makes sense if we 'know' that GRRM is writing a 'rhyming' 'song': Theon was at least recognized by Helya, and this nods to that, even as the warm greeting and mutual recognition Petyr receives from and shares with his household is otherwise the yin to Theon's yang.
Note that Petyr doesn't know (and isn't known by) "the child… with a sty on one eye". This conflates and reworks (a) Theon being unrecognized by the "gaunt" — i.e. decidedly un-pig-like (see: "sty" as in pigsty) — children of castle Pyke, whose eyes are flawed in their own way—

A pair of gaunt children… stared at him with dull eyes…

—and (b) the "blank, bovine eyes" of the Lordsport men who "did not know who [Theon] was":

The Lordsport men gazed on Theon with blank, bovine eyes, and he realized that they did not know who he was.

This seems intentional: Eye styes can be spelled "sty" in the singular, as GRRM does here, but "stye" is preferred to differentiate from "sty" meaning a pig pen. The choice to spell it "sty" gives the girl who doesn't know Petyr a livestock-evoking eye and thus recursively riffs on Theon's homecoming, in which the men who "did not know who he was" had cattle-evoking eyes. The 'rhyme' is patent.

Sylas Sourmouth & Petyr's Hermit

Getting back to Theon's homecoming and its prefiguration of Sansa's 'field trip' with Petyr… Having been recognized by Helya, Theon asks her about Sylas Sourmouth, who he'd remembered when sailing into Lordsport:

"Sylas was steward here. They called him Sourmouth." Even now, Theon could recall the winey stench of the old man's breath.
"Dead these five years, m'lord."

So Sylas was a foul-smelling wino who is "dead these five years". He thus prefigures Petyr's dead, foul-smelling wino-hermit, who "had not washed in forty years". But he's not the only character in ACOK Theon I who seems to have inspired the story of Petyr's hermit.

"Sylas" Marner

The name "Sylas" shores up the fact that there's a connection between Theon and Petyr, if "only" via the 'rhyme' between Sylas and Petyr's hermit, as it's surely a reference to [Silas Marner by George Eliot], the plot of which massively resonates with Petyr's story.

• Silas is accused of embezzling funds. (See Littlefinger.)
  
• The evidence against him is a knife. (See Littlefinger.)
  
• Silas loses his fiancee to a rival. (See Littlefinger.)
  
• Silas goes to live in the middle of nowhere and loses all faith in God. (See Littlefinger.)
  
• Silas hoards and loves gold he earns from weaving. (See Littlefinger hoarding/loving gold and weaving his webs of lies. See also the "woven leathers" on the Myraham, which 'rhymes' so comprehensively with the Merling King. This also jibes with elpadrinonegro's conviction that the Vale story is riffing on Midsummer Night's Dream, with its weaver.)
  
• Silas adopts a daughter sired by a highborn man and found on a snowy night, her mother dead in the snow. He names her after his deceased mother. (See Littlefinger, and AGOT's first chapter.)
  
• The daughter "grows up to be the pride of the village" (as Sansa is set to be the pride of the Vale?).
  

There's more but those are the highlights. Note that the daughter ultimately redeems Silas from his fallen ways, and continues to treat him as her father even after her 'real' family emerges. Will Sansa 'fix' Littlefinger, as well? Or is life indeed not a song?
One more point of immediate interest to the hypothesis being explored here: "Marner" means sailomariner. If Petyr is in part a riff on Silas Marner, this could be yet another suggestion that he's Hoare-ish and thus ironborn.

Aeron & Petyr's Hermit

Sylas has something in common with the one person who does 'greet' Theon when he lands at Lordsport: Aeron, who we're quickly told twice is "sour", just like Sylas Sourmouth, the stinky dead wino who we already 'rhymed' with Petyr's hermit:

He is as mad as he is sour. Theon had liked what he remembered of the old Aeron Greyjoy.
Mallister… was a more amiable riding companion than this sour old priest that his uncle Aeron had turned into.

Indeed, it's clear that the "sour" Aeron of ACOK Theon I & II and Sylas Sourmouth are mashed up and rejiggered into Petyr's hermit story (repeated here for reference):

There was a hermit's cave on his land as well, but no hermit. "He's dead now, but when I was a boy my father took me to see him. The man had not washed in forty years, so you can imagine how he smelled, but supposedly he had the gift of prophecy. He groped me a bit and said I would be a great man, and for that my father gave him a skin of wine." Petyr snorted. "I would have told him the same thing for half a cup."

Consider that Petyr's hermit was a drunk who "had not washed in… years", who "supposedly… had the gift of prophecy", who received a "skin of wine" for telling Petyr's father Petyr "would be a great man", and who died some unknown number of years ago.
That all 'rhymes' with the Aeron we meet during Theon's homecoming in ACOK. To wit…
Aeron's thin physique, uncut hair and "untrimmed beard" make him look like a stereotypical hermit, but where Petyr's hermit was given a "skin of wine", Aeron carries a "waterskin":

Tall and thin, …the priest was garbed in mottled robes of green and grey and blue…. A waterskin hung under his arm on a leather strap, and ropes of dried seaweed were braided through his waist-long black hair and untrimmed beard.

The seaweed braided in his beard evokes the beach, where dwell… hermit crabs, who likewise pick up and make use of beach detritus.
That Aeron is a priest is also consistent with his prefiguring Petyr's hermit, in that being a 'proper' hermit is a religious calling. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermit)
Aeron echews the comforts of a castle, refusing Theon's offer to "stay the night and share our meat and mead":

"Bring you, I was told. You are brought. Now I return to our god's business." Aeron Greyjoy turned his horse and rode slowly out beneath the muddy spikes of the portcullis.

This prefigures Petyr's hermit being a cave-dweller,
Where the hermit was a wino, Aeron's a former drunk—

The priest's manner was chilly, most unlike the man Theon remembered. Aeron Greyjoy had been… fond of… ale….

—who is now "drunk on seawater and sanctity":

"Aeron is drunk on seawater and sanctity. He lives only for his god—" - Theon (ACOK Theon II)

That phrase neatly prefigures the juxtaposition of the seawater-shooting blowhole with the boulder chiseled with the sign of the Seven, which we see just before the show-and-tell around Petyr's hermit.
Where the hermit "had not washed in… years", Aeron is called "Damphair", as if he's just bathed—

As the man approached, the smallfolk bent the knee, and Theon heard the innkeeper murmur, "Damphair."

—and he greets Theon by giving him a bath:

"Bow your head." Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine.

We're also told twice that Aeron was "washed" in the ocean. The first time foregrounds "memory" and letter-writing, which prefigures Littlefinger the letter-writer recounting his childhood memory of the hermit to Sansa:

A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. "Uncle Aeron?" he said doubtfully

The second time paints Aeron as a dry drunk again, even as Aeron tells Theon that the man Theon knew as Aeron "drowned", implying he died some years ago, as the hermit did:

"And what of you, Uncle?" Theon asked. "You were no priest when I was taken from Pyke. I remember how you would sing the old reaving songs standing on the table with a horn of ale in hand."
"Young I was, and vain," Aeron Greyjoy said, "but the sea washed my follies and my vanities away. That man drowned, nephew. His lungs filled with seawater, and the fish ate the scales off his eyes. When I rose again, I saw clearly."

Finally, where the prophet "supposedly… had the gift of prophecy" and used it to tell Petyr's father that Petyr "would be a great man", Aeron offers a prophetic interpretation of the red comet:

[Theon, to Aeron:] "They say the red comet is a herald of a new age. A messenger from the gods."
"A sign it is," the priest agreed, "but from our god, not theirs. A burning brand it is, such as our people carried of old. It is the flame the Drowned God brought from the sea, and it proclaims a rising tide. It is time to hoist our sails and go forth into the world with fire and sword, as he did."

Everything we subsequently read about Aeron only reinforces the 'rhyme': In AFFC it's spelled out that he was a drunk, he calls himself "the prophet", and we learn that he was molested by Euron, thus 'rhyming' with Petyr being "groped… a bit" by the hermit. Then, in The Forsaken, he has an apocalyptic vision of the future while tripping on special wine.

Groping, Bragging, Snorting

But what about when GRRM wrote ASOS Sansa VI? Were there already things in Theon's ACOK homecoming prefiguring Petyr's quip about getting "groped" by the hermit?

"He groped me a bit and said I would be a great man, and for that my father gave him a skin of wine." Petyr snorted. "I would have told him the same thing for half a cup."

Or for that matter prefiguring Petyr snorting and/or his quip about "doing the same thing for half a cup" and/or the hermit saying he "would be a great man"?
Naturally.
One of the first things we see Theon do is 'grope' the captain's daughter. A lot.

Theon agreed, squeezing her breast…
Theon's finger circled one heavy teat, spiraling in toward the fat brown nipple.
"As I have," he said, rolling her nipple idly between his fingers.

And how does Theon get her to let him grope her? With the same thing with which Petyr's father paid the hermit: wine!

The captain's daughter… had come to his bed willingly enough all the same. A cup of wine, a few whispers, and there she was.

(I guess Theon couldn't find a girl who'd let him do it "for half a cup.")
So where Theon gropes the captain's daughter for a "cup of wine", Petyr, "for half a cup", would have been willing to say, as the wino hermit did, that he'd be "a great man"… which is not coincidentally what Theon in effect tells his just-groped captain's daughter (for free) when he implies that he's going to be a king:

"As many times as I've fucked you, you're likely with child. It's not every man who has the honor of raising a king's bastard."

Theon still more unmistakably prefigures Petyr's hermit (saying Petyr would be "a great man") when, during his ride back to Pyke from Lordsport with "Esgred" a.k.a. Asha in ACOK Theon II, he says he will be verbatim "a great man":

[Asha:] "A grievous thing when a great man grows old."
[Theon:] "Lord Balon is but the father of a great man."

What is he doing when he says this? Making even more like Petyr's hermit by 'groping' her, too:

When they were well beyond Lordsport, Theon put a hand on her breast. Esgred reached up and plucked it away.
[Theon] slid his hand back up to where it had been. Her breasts were small, but he liked the firmness of them.

In reply to Theon's groping and flirting and declarations of greatness, Asha… "snorted", just like Petyr when he talks about the hermit:

"I like a woman with a good tight grip."
She [Asha] snorted. "I'd not have thought it, by that wench on the waterfront."

Thus it's hardly a stretch to imagine that this—

"He groped me a bit and said I would be a great man, and for that my father gave him a skin of wine." Petyr snorted. "I would have told him the same thing for half a cup."

—was written as a recursive, kaleidoscopic riff on Theon's homecoming.

Qalen, Wendamyr, & Petyr's Hermit

There remains one detail regarding Petyr's hermit that is as yet unmoored/un-'rhymed':

There was a hermit's cave on his land as well, but no hermit.

The hermit having a cave "on his land" but the cave having "no hermit" is a 'rhyming' rejiggering of what Helya says after Theon (having heard that Sylas Sourmouth is dead) asks her about a Maester Qalen:

"And what of Maester Qalen, where is he?"
"He sleeps in the sea. Wendamyr keeps the ravens now."

"He sleeps in the sea" is clearly a euphemism for being dead. The words "he sleeps in the sea" thus prefigure Petyr talking about a dead hermit who once lived "on his land". (sea → land)
Note that it makes sense that Qalen should prefigure Petyr's hermit, as the name "Qalen" recalls [Hermetic Qabala].
Meanwhile, the rest of Helya's answer prefigures Petyr having "a hermit's cave… but no hermit", as the line "Wendamyr keeps the ravens now" invites us to think this untitled Wendamyr fellow might not be a maester, but rather a 'mere' raven-keeper (a la Chett and later Sam at the Wall or Pate in Oldtown), which would mean there's a maester's tower, but no maester.
Yes, the appendix clears this up, but in the narrative itself it's as if there's now only some rando dude named Wendamyr who isn't a maester but who "keeps the ravens" so Balon doesn't lose access to rapid communication, even if (we might infer) he doesn't want those pesky maesters around now that he's brought back the Old Way.

The Abandoned Mine

That said, there is another piece of the puzzle. About two pages before Helya tells Theon about Sylas and Qalen and Wendamyr, he sees the abandoned workings of a mine during his ride to Pyke:

They kept a steady plodding pace, past a shepherd's croft and the abandoned workings of a mine.

An abandoned mine pretty clearly prefigures Petyr's hermit's cave with no hermit.
Moreover, given that that passage comes but one page before Theon is pointedly unrecognized by the people of Pyke castle, I suspect GRRM deliberately recycled the word "mine" into the odd way Petyr talks about his smallfolk just before he shows Sansa the hermit's cave:

"Mine own smallfolk," Petyr said, though only the oldest seemed to know him. There was a hermit's cave on his land as well, but no hermit.

(The "abandoned workings of a mine" formulation, meanwhile, foregrounds the work done at a mine, such as chiseling through rock, and thus prefigures the place on Petyr's lands where the Andals "had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder" before abandoning it to become the desolate place it 'now' is.)

Slyas Sourmouth & Jon Arryn

Just one more thing regarding Theon's exchange with Helya, in which we read that Sylas and Qalen are dead, while someone called Wendamyr "keeps the ravens now":

"Sylas was steward here. They called him Sourmouth." Even now, Theon could recall the winey stench of the old man's breath.
"Dead these five years, m'lord."
"And what of Maester Qalen, where is he?"
"He sleeps in the sea. Wendamyr keeps the ravens now."

Petyr's smelly wino-hermit aside, what does Sylas the Steward — a verbatim "old man" with terrible "breath" who died five years ago — evoke if not Lysa's complaints about the "stinking" and "foul breath" of Jon Arryn, who was, she thought when she wed him, "such an old man, how long could he live", and whose breath smelled like "bad cheese" (of the sort a "Sour" steward might serve)?
Note the 'perfect' pairing of their breaths: sour wine and bad cheese.
To be sure, Lysa voices these complaints in the Drearfort during Petyr's homecoming chapter, the morning after she weds Petyr, whose breath, she says, "is always fresh", thus creating another strong thread of connection between ACOK Theon I and ASOS Sansa VI. But there's something else going on here.

Petyr Pan & Wendamyr Darling

Noting that we're told about Sylas and his breath just before we're told about Qalen and Wendamyr, surely we might say something like this:

• Where Pyke's former keeper of the cheese, the wine-breathed "old man" Sylas the Steward, is 'out' and where Wendamyr is 'in' as raven-keeper at Pyke… the cheese-breathed "old man" Jon Arryn is 'out' and the fresh-breathed Petyr is 'in' at the Eyrie.

So:

• much younger Petyr & Wendamyr have replaced the old men Sylas/Qalen and Jon Arryn.
• Petyr & Wendamyr ≈ Peter and Wendy
• Peter Pan and Wendy Darling → Petyr & Wendamyr

There's great resonance between [Wendy Darling] and Sansa: Wendy is about 12 or 13, on the cusp of adolescence/adulthood. She loves story-telling and fantasizing. She has two younger brothers, who become "Lost Boys". In Peter's realm of Neverland, she is forced to take on maternal tasks. (See Sansa in Petyr's Eyrie vis-a-vis Sweetrobin.) The parallels are plain.
It's worth noting that after getting caught up in Peter's world and enjoying herself for some time, Wendy remembers who she really is and decides to return home, bringing her brothers with her.
On a totally different note: Does the foregoing suggest that Wendamyr might somehow 'belong' to Petyr?

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 9: "Cargos, Slatterns & Butchery" with Helya & Grisel.

It all came to a head when one of the JNTwins asked to schedule a phone call late last year. This JNTwin is the golden child and JNSIL is the golden SIL by extension. He was the first one to get married, finish college, etc. so JNMIL was quick to turn all of her attention to him due to his accomplishments. He absolutely loves the attention that he gets and further tries to alienate the relationship between JNMIL and DH as well as enable her shitty behavior. He himself is a gigantic narcissist, but he has always been very covert. Until one phone call.
DH had an initial phone call that was a group call with other JNTwin included. The other JNTwin shuts down and goes silent any time he is confronted with his actions while golden JNTwin immediately runs to try and gaslight and change the narrative. Nothing was new this phone call. JNTwin was drunk as a skunk on the call, so golden JNTwin did all of the talking. By talking, I mean deflecting blame back on DH and refusing to acknowledge any wrongdoing. He asked to have a second phone call, so DH obliged despite really not wanting to. This time, golden JNTwin was responding to an email that he asked DH to type up about issues that caused the family to get cut off. Both JNMIL and JNTwin chose not to email back. JNTwin immediately sets in on how the email was too long and he's sooo busy so of course he can't respond - This is an email he asked for. Then - for the first time - he completely cracked. He deflected blame the entire time he was reading the email until he got to where DH said he was tired of golden JNTwin calling him fat and making fun of his weight (he was a completely normal weight). When I tell you golden JNTwin SCREAMED that he did not care that he hurt his feelings because he is fat so he doesn't feel bad.
I talked to JNTwin myself at a later point and asked him if he would put up with his family's bullshit if they were racist towards his wife. When I tell you he did BACKFLIPS to try and avoid answering the question. He couldn't stand up for his own wife! I asked if he would be okay with his family choosing not to be in his kids' lives - He said he wouldn't care because it is their choice. He is deeply enmeshed with family, so that was a blatant lie. I nonchalantly brought up how I almost died last year (because I know they don't care) and when I tell you you could HEAR how annoyed he was in his tone because he didn't like that I was taking away from his dramatic story about golden JNSIL's cyst removal. He kept bringing up DH's ex and how I am better than and more motivated than her (he always used to say I have nothing going for myself and DH can do better).
JNMIL was supposed to have a facetime call (set up a week in advance) to see our son since she has never met him and only ever seen photos. She cancelled ten minutes beforehand. She never commented on the photos despite trying to use manipulation to get some in the past.
Over three years after issues initially started with JNILs, this was the first time where I saw him truly not give a damn anymore. You could see he was finally over them. He was no contact for about a year or so prior to this, but you could tell he did not feel like anything was solved. Now, he truly could not care less about them. Their actions FINALLY set in and broke the enmeshment. He realized they would never take accountability and he would always be the scapegoat. He realized his wife and child would be scapegoats by extension. It didn't matter if it were me, his ex, or anyone else, they are determined to hate every aspect of his life that challenges their wants. The level of delusion and denial that exists in that sort of family dynamic is insane.
Yesterday, JNMIL texted him that she would have visited him had he told her we were visiting our hometown. He told her she never bothered visiting him out of state all because she won't take any accountability, so why would she visit him now. All she had to say is that she was never disrespectful to his family then pretended she had to go to work. He didn't let it affect him. Today, he decided to change his number and go to therapy.

I fell in love with this girl I met on a summer afternoon at a debate competition last year. We spent that evening walking, talking about college life and enjoying the evening rain. She seemed very sweet and nice, she was perfectly humble, very smart, and yes, of course, beautiful. I can still picture her childish laugh, her soft bangs adding to the innocence. She left after dinner that day, but luckily, I saved her contact no. We chatted for a few days, I got to know her better. By the end of that week though, sadly, I came to know about her boyfriend. She volunteered that information herself, starting with "we're just friends right?" I was heartbroken. I couldn't cut myself off completely, so I talked to her as a friend for the next few days. I couldn't stop falling for her no matter how much I tried to stop myself. The fifteen minutes she would chat on text with me every night was something I craved for the whole day from the moment I woke up. I started stalking her and tried to find ttried to find the guy. I always made sure to leave her a text everyday so that she wouldn't forget me. I was completely, head over heels obsessed with her. Slowly, after two months, I decided to let go. I confessed to her on text and told her to block me so that I could work on myself. And she obliged. It was very hard the first few days, I would crave for photos with her on it, I would crave for her sweet humour, her smile. A video of her frekin hair moving with the wind was enough to make me lose myself. A few weeks in I forced myself to stop that. Worked out, studied better for my sem exams, spent time with my friends to distract myself. I was getting over her, and I was happy. Until last week. I went out to drink after a long while and I couldn't help remembering that evening. That smile, that laughter. Those bangs. That rain. I spent the night stalking her again. I finally found the guy though, this time. He was a research undergraduate of a premier institute in the country, and seemed so far off better than me. Jealousy was burning in my soul. Couldn't stand that guy's photo anymore. So I did it. Called her. (She had unblocked me by then) Twice. Then she picked up. I screamed at her, I told her how badly I wanted us to be together. How that guy would never want her as much as I did. How hard it was to get over her. She didn't say anything. She just interjected "please" or "yes" and cut the call. I feel very bad about that call. I've been crafting an apology text for a while now, but since she had blocked me again I wasn't able to send it to her. I don't know how to move on. But I don't want her to hate me for the rest of my life. Or maybe I do, because it would get easier to move on. I'm just tired of feeling stuff. I'm tired of the pain. So. Damn. Tired.

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Hello Everyone!
First of all I'd like to say, welcome to the nearly hundred new members that we picked up at WildRoseCountry over the course of the election! Thank you also to the over 300 members who have been with us for longer. You're our bedrock, and I really appreciate the increasing engagement we've seen here in the past few months. It's taken a good deal of patience get this sub moving, but I think we've finally got some momentum. This time last year we had less than a quarter of the members we do today. And I think we're well on our way to making our growth target of 500 members for the year. After last night's purges at Alberta, there's probably more than a few people looking for a new Reddit home. Feel free to use word of mouth to reach out to folks who you think might be a good fit. I don't tend to scream out our existence at the top our lungs, but I think we can start to be a little more confident.
I also want to apologize. I haven't always been able to be as engaged as I'd like to be with the sub. I've been very busy with work lately and all the joys and labours that come with having a young family. I think if I could have put in more time we'd have landed easily more than 100 new members over the election period. I'm still going to do my best to recruit, provide content and keep this place from turning into a generic reddit mad house. I'd just like to ask for you to be patient with me. Know that I'm a really open easy going guy and if you have any thoughts, suggestions or concerns you can always reach out to me through chat. Hell if you just want to roll an opinion on hockey by me, I'm good for that too! Alberta deserves a better provincial sub. One that actually represents its people and our values. If the election confirmed anything, it's that we are the majority. I'm doing my best to contribute to that, but I'm only mortal. I only wish I could give more, sorry for that. And thanks for your patience. One thing that I hope to get to in the coming moths is to refresh some of the standard messages, descriptions and links for the sub. Feel free to give me a poke if you have any thoughts on that.
I'd also like to give an extra shout to the group who was involved during last night's election live chat. I had a blast! It was enough for me to wish for another election soon. Hopefully the situation federally obliges us sooner rather than later.
On to other matters!
What a night! It wasn't quite as big a quite as big a win as I had hoped for, but a lot of it came down to extremely tight races. You can't win all the breaks unfortunately. But, an outright majority of Albertans spoke and opted to re-elect conservatives to another majority term in Alberta. And in that regard, they came in at the high end of my expectations.
Now it's time for the UCP to get down to the business of governing. With a renewed mandate, they can put to rest the notion that Albertans are no longer interested in conservatism. It is worth remarking that Smith herself did not campaign on many of her more strident positions like a police force, a pension or even the Sovereignty Act. Though I do think that she alluded to the latter in her victory speech when addressing Ottawa last night.
I think that makes the order of business clear though. As much as I appreciate many of these positions, the party's priorities in government are going to be bread and butter issues like economic stewardship, fiscal management, healthcare access and efficiency, protecting our education system, public safety and addictions. There's going to be a lot of work to be done on those files to warrant putting some of these other positions at a lower priority. I hope that in the coming mandate, the UCP continues to deliver on those core files. That's what's going to ensure another mandate in 2027. But a lot of these other items are part of why I'm a UCP supporter. I think Alberta's sovereignty is critical. What I hope to see is a slow and steady approach. I'd rather see one of two of those positions delivered on in full rather than have them try to take on too much at once and get nothing done. And I think it deserves to be said, where we ultimately need to go as a province is our own constitution that lets us put to writing what it means to be Albertan and cement it in law.
We are Alberta's conservative subreddit, but we aren't the UCP's subreddit. No doubt many of us, myself included, are engaged politically. All I would say is that that doesn't make us blind partisans. Fair criticism of the performance of the government and it's leadership is always going to be welcome here. It also doesn't mean that we will always agree with one another on every topic either. So just a reminder to be respectful to one another in disagreements.
We also aren't only a political sub. This is a sub where you can post about anything going on in and relevant to the province. So as we move out of the high intensity of the election period and the likely impending calm of summer. Feel free to bring up other topics and share photos and stories too!
I'll just close on an important thought on the meaning of conservatism. We are the centre. Not just here in Alberta, but everywhere. We're the ones who prioritize our long held ways of life against radicalism. It has been said, that everyone is right wing about the things that matter to them. Here's some quotes that I find very meaningful in my own personal political philosophy.

I think that what makes conservatism distinct as opposed to philosophies on the left, is because conservatism is empirical and fundamentally cultural, conservatism actually does differ to some degree in various entities. Whereas liberalism and socialism and the real ‘isms’ are belief systems regardless. You’ve got to transform whatever society it is into that.

-Stephen Harper

There is an additional thing that makes conservatism both beautiful and frustrating. Unlike liberalism and socialism and corporatism, which are, by their nature, deeply utilitarian, conservatism is deeply poetic. It loves the gothic, the quirky, and the strange. Unlike liberalism and socialism and corporatism, it praises (true) differences and even celebrates them. Person A is talented at this, and Person B is talented at that. Each person brings his or her talents to the community, there to sharpen them as well as restrain our many flaws and arrogances.
So, what exactly do we want to conserve? This is a question that every person and every generation must ask.

-Bradley J. Blitzer

Society is indeed a contract.…[But, a]s the ends of such a partnership cannot be obtained in many generations, it becomes a partnership not only between those who are living, but between those who are living, those who are dead, and those who are to be born….Changing the state as often as there are floating fancies,…no one generation could link with the other. Men would be little better than the flies of a summer.

-Edmund Burke
Conservatism at the end of the day, is about a people being ourselves and standing up for ideals in a changing world. The point isn't to be rigid, but as change comes it's up to us to integrate or reject ideas in our own way that's respectful to our customary way of life. Being proud to be ourselves, being open while also being critical. If there's anything I'd hope to accomplish for Alberta at this community, it's that. So, with that...
It's an honour to be among you and to help make this community a reality. Cheers to members old and new! Cheers to last night's victory! Cheers to Alberta! And God bless you all! (even if that's not your thing)
Sincerely,
-SJO!

https://preview.redd.it/sc2pwv6poz2b1.jpg?width=1744&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2222f98d7efcbe558f7ce48a192768dd1b74aaa9
This is the promised PART II of the Character Study Series featuring Gorou Amamiya / Aqua Hoshino.In the last bit we traced Gorou's affection for Ai as both an Idol and a Mother back to the suppressed trauma he suffered during his own mother's death when she gave birth to him. We were able to rationalize Gorou's behaviour, decisions and thoughts from Chapter 1 until Ai's murder as a perfect reflection of his longing for unconditional maternal love and ended then on a lowkey plot twist:
While he finally would get what he craved for through his roleplay as Ai's son – namely an reenactment of unconditional love between a mother and her child – was at the same time tragically linked to her violent murder. The disturbing similarities to Gorou's biological mother's death(TODESWUNSCH UND SELBSTAUFOPFERUNG), would trigger a second trauma from his past life which we will call from now on his "guilt-complex".This complex manifests itself as a total negation of Aqua's perceptived self-worth to even deserve this kind of love. Instead of a realization that the love Ai granted him in her final moments was a repetitive scene from Gorou's birth, he would only externalize the horrific and tragic part of his birth respectively only evaluate the horrific and tragic site of Ai's death. And this weird phenomenom is rooted in the triggered guilt-complex, a second trauma that was passed down from Gorou to Aqua and will now shape his fate.
This subconscioss "force" that would allow him to unlock and accept only the traumatic one-sided memory from his past life's birth is the result of an abusive conditioning he suffered during his life with his Grandparents. This "force" is the guilt-complex. From the moment Aqua realized that a second culprit has to exist who had to be in connection to the killer of both him and Ai and that this second culprit is his biological father - from that moment on the "force" constructed the rational for the internal legitimation of the one-sided rememberance and interpretation of both his mother's and Ai's death. We will analyze the depths of this internal legitimation process later.
As a result his actual innocence for his mother's death and the pure hearted innocence behind his longing for fullfillment of the infant's desire to experience unconditional love were blocked out from his "coping-horizont". They were no longer present as memory bits in his conciousness to be reflected upon in a fair, self-respecting and self-preserving manner.
Following this strain of thoughts we will later see that Aqua's self-sacrifical mindset as presented to us in the Manga is rooted in exactly this guilt-complex he inherited from Gorou. We will unveal it as a result of an abusive relationship with his Grandfather. It's neither an enbodiment of a god's power nor the result of PTSD done to specifically "Aqua's" soul following Ai's death. I firmly believe, that this is the quintessential insight to fully grasp Aqua, who is by far he most active plot-shaping MC in the Manga. Thus understanding his psyche to the fullest is almost synonynous to understanding the plot.
The fundamental premise of this study is to show on full scale what reincarnation into "soulless children" (C75) means: The complete migration of the previous consciouss and subconsciouss into the new body. "Aqua" is the body, the pretty face with the connections, "Gorou" is the actual soul. Aqua as an own soul-entity doesn't exist. His traumatic emotions purely derivate from Gorou, thus his malicious rage, self-hatred and hunger for revenge are the result of an internal struggle within Gorou's trauma world. It's simply the miracle of the reincarnation that allows him to challenge these trauma "in a perfect sandbox" the god's prepared for him. The same goes for Sarina. This new world and new life is their "therapy".
As a final result we will uncover the groundlaying symmetry between Sarina and Gorou that is expressed in the life that was granted to them through reincarnation: Gorou couldn't become and do just like Sarina what he really wanted in life. In a sense the image of the handicapped Sarina living in the hospital is the quintessential metaphorical representation of Gorou himself. She shows upfront what was the psychological state of Gorou's soul.
​
​
The Holy Mother
In the last bit I announced to begin with a paragraph titled "The Reenactment of Violence" but before that we have to discuss the reaons why I firmly believe that his mother actually showed him loving affection when she gave birth. Previously I based this claim on my interpretation of the depiction of Ai's last words and her passing with help of a well-argued position that this whole scene was a (from the gods perhaps...) "staged" reenactment of Gorou's birth exclusively ment for Aqua to trigger and challenge Gorou's trauma. And while I personally think it's a sufficient explaination, we also need to deduce her affection from the few informations that Aqua shared with Akane when they visited his grandparent's house.
Gorou's mother hid the pregnancy from her parents and gave birth alone in her home which eventually led to her death. Additionally Gorou doesn't know anything about his biological father. This could mean:
​

• The relationship to her parents wasn't great (especially her father?)
• She hide pregnancy because they would urge her to abort
• She hid pregnancy because she would embarass somebody (rape?)
• She hid pregnancy because she and Gorou's father were minors
• She would carry the child even after her partner abandoned her
• She defends the child's right to live
• She would take even the risk and deliver on her own

Can't say what exactly of this is true but you get the general idea. The opposition and stubborness against her parents and the fact that she actually would carry him out on her own requires great commidment. A woman with such strong motherly convictions for her unborn child embodies that very unconditionality that we discussed in such great length in PART I. Such a woman is free from regrets and especially wouldn't blame her newborn in her last eartly moments. The pregnancy as a whole was already a chain of "complications" anyway as it's not easy to hide and just be on your own for 9 months. But she bore it. Such a woman can value the life she gave birth to even in expense of her own.
Ai was of similar character and background. She had to hide her pregnancy from the public, a husband wasn't at her site, Ichigo actually would've wanted her to abort or at least he suggested it. But she wanted to keep them because she dreamed to have a family. She knew about the struggle to keep the children a secret after their birth but challenged her luck anyway. Actually this also might be a hint to her own unconditional love towards unborn children: Pregnancy and maternity are a mortal sin in the world of idols. Think about the pressure and responsibility that goes with the decision to keep them. If Ai is through her unconditionally loving commidment a representation of Gorou's mother then we can deduce that in return his mother was challenged with a similar pressuring social issue. Thus her deep wish and longing for a family must have been just as strong as Ai's was.
When life was slowly leaving her body she was only thinking to give her children as much love on their way as possible. Ai eventually would value the life she gave birth to even in expense of her own. In this sense Gorou's unconditionally loving mother finds a symbolic representation in Ai Hoshino. And just as Ai, Gorou's mother devoted her last moments to her newborn child.
The concept of "guilt" is absolutely foreign to the real circumstances surrounding Gorou's birth. But somehow he still developed a feeling of guilt for it. Such a feeling in itself should be abnormal for a child to develope on his own. At the same time why would an adult who for example concluds "guilt" from intellectual reflection show such vicious manifestations of it over Ai's death? I mean they just played a role, right? He played the role of a son. She never was his mother after all. The manifestation of Aqua's guilt is too brutal and graphic to be a spontanious reaction over exclusively the loss of the idol Ai. It's completely out of character for a somewhat calm and mature doctor for whom dying people are a day to day professional experience, thus it had to be a curse from his past life that was triggered from the all to similar reenactment of his suppressed trauma.
However it may be abnormal to develope such a feeling on his own but it isn't if the family situation he was raised after his mother's passing showed characteristics of abusive behaviour.
​
The Reenactment of Violence
We know very little from his Grandfather but at the same time we actually know a lot. Trauma are a form of memory storage, behaviour can be an effect of a repulsion of it. In Gorou's trauma is actually every bit of his Grandfather's abusive actions internalized. It means we can deduce a very clear picture of what was going on. But not only Gorou is here our source of information but also the relation between the Grandfather to his daughter that died as a result of Gorou's birth.
We don't know exactly what pressured Gorou's mother to hide the pregnancy but as earlier inferred at must've been a challenging issue. As a consequence of their disagreement she hid and gave birth on her own. After the tragic incidents the Grandfather would feel guilty about his daughter's passing but at the same time the cope over his own failures would lead to abusive behaviour towards Gorou who was now stuck at his home. Gorou has become the living representation of the Grandfather's failure. He would remind him every day of it. The repulsion against Gorou became a way to cope the hatred against himself.
We established that when Aqua learned about a second culprit who is his biological father his guilt-complex had his first peaking moment (basically the moment he developed for the first time the black starigan). Under the premise that the purpose of Aqua's life is to challenge Gorou's trauma in which Ai's killing was an essential predetermined trigger point in a perfect sandbox prepared by the Gods, leads me to believe that the meaning of "biological father = culprit" has traumatic characterics from Gorou's past life. We'll get now a little closer to the reason why Aqua's hunt for Kamiki is inseparable permeated with his self-sacrificial and sef-destructive wish. We get a little closer to why Aqua thinks he needs to suffer just as much as Kamiki.
​
Let me paint for you a picture of violence.
Your existence is false. You should not exist. Without You my Daughter would be alive and happy***.*** The very nature of Your existence is an insult. It would be just to let You pay for the mortal sin of Your birth. You has no right of existence, no birth right, no right to happiness because this happiness is founded on Your existencial guilt. Sounds familiar? We will get back to the similarities later...
These are possible accusations Gorou was exposed to while living with his Grandfather. His Grandfather might have been an alcoholic and even beat Gorou. Gorou could've shown self-harming behaviour, perhaps a suicide attempt even. But it could also be that the Grandfather suicided himself after some years of abuse of both Gorou and himself. I was always really curious about Aqua's wise and forseeing action-taking when Akane was in a suicidal crises. He would later say on the police station that people simply die way too easy and if they show signs of help needed one have to act quickly. I always thought it's somehow related to his personal life experience. Well, my first link was that he might have helped Sarina when she was suicidal but maybe it's also an experience from his own childhood. It could also be both.
But lets go back to the abuse and why the murder of Ai was an reenactment of violence. Gorou's biological father surely is part of the equation. I don't know if Gorou came up with it himself or if the Grandfather would also bad mouth Gorou's father while abusing Gorou. But at least we can say that the biological father mirrors a significant portion of Gorou's self-hatred. If Gorou's birth is the reason for his mother's death or in other words if Gorou killed his mother then the biological father was the second culprit who - through the impregnation and abandonment of his mother - created her killer. And now we beginn to see all the parallels, the reenactment of violence and uiltimately the blueprint of Aqua's script for "15-Year Lie" where he plays the culprit... perhaps where he in reality things he really is the culprit. But we will talk about this again at a later stage of his study. It's just a hint for now. But the important part here is: He doesn't oppose Kamiki for the murder of Ai, but for the creation of Ai's murderer. Or: The only reason Gorou hates his father is because he created Gorou and this relationship he reflects on Kamiki.
There is another very interesting allegation which eventually becomes the main trigger for Aqua's PTSD and that's the allegation that Gorou apparently stole through his birth the happiness of his mother therefore he has no right to be happy himself. Now this is very interesting. Because now we get to the first change of perception in Aqua's life, the first time when his Trauma began to shape his consciouss behaviour. You all remember how Ruby mentioned how her brother changed after Ai's death, how he never showed happiness again. And you all remember Aqua's trouble during the Tokyo Blade Arc where this issue was basically the center of his plot.
But the most overwhelming aspect about this allegation is that it's in absolute opposition to the truth. Because in reality Gorou's birth didn't stole his mother's but fullfilled her with the upmost happiness! Gorou is the reason for her happiness not the reason for her death!
This however was an impossible thought that the broken and self-hating Grandfather never could accept. His abusive conditioning of Gorou which ultimately led to his guilt-complex became the very reason for Aqua to overlook the redeeming beauty and the gift he and Ruby became for Ai's short time with her children.
In the symbol of the killer's knife into Ai's womb Gorou would project his guilt of being the killer of his mother through his birth. The tragic scene that unfolded in front of his eyes became the reenactment of his guilty violent murder, triggered by the violent abuse he suffered from his Grandfather.
​
Reprise
We know very little from his Grandfather but at the same time we actually know a lot. Trauma are a form of memory storage, behaviour can be an effect of a repulsion of it. In Gorou's trauma is actually every bit of his Grandfather's abusive actions internalized**.** Your existence is false. You should not exist. Without You my Daughter would be alive and happy**.** The very nature of Your existence is an insult. It would be just to let You pay for the mortal sin of Your birth. You have no right of existence, no birth right, no right to happiness because this happiness is founded on Your existencial guilt. Sounds familiar? The abusive Gorou-Figure that appears in Aqua's deluded mind and triggers his PTSD is the mental embodiment of his abusive Grandfather. And thus we have painted a picture of violence...
​
​
Epilog
In PART I when we had only analyzed Gorou's and Ai's issues as for each very personal interest that would come together like as if it's an exchange of goods in the economical sphere, it made it appear a bit as a mehanical and cold-hearted relationship in which Aqua would just kinda "do a stretch" and wait until something happens and just drain love like a parasite. So it was kinda dumb. But now that we unvealed the depths of the abuse Gorou suffered from his Grandfather we have to evaluate the relationship between Aqua and Ai again.
This is important in order to understand why Ai is the perfect projection surface for his trauma but also for his healing. In other words: If the content of his trauma couldn't project itself fully in all it's detailes then some unresolved parts of it would just persist in his subconsciossess and blockade him from the realization of his own true happiness. The result would've been for Aqua to just live a unfullfilled life like he did as Gorou but actually also during his Intermezzo when he thought Kamiki is dead. This wasn't truely happy existence either, although only Akane could see it.
I characterized his reincarnation as a form of "therapy" the god's want him to go through. But for a therapy to be sufficient it has to uncover and process the full content of the trauma. So I might have decepted you a bit. The infant's love Gorou carves for is not born from a trauma directly over his mother's death but derivated from the abuse he suffered from his Grandfather who shifted the guilt from himself to Gorou. It was impossible for me to reveal this earlier, since PART I was indeed an important framework that had to be established first. It's not a major difference, It's just a little shift but an important one. The "Infant" was still a carving element in Gorou's heart but the meaning in his behaviour changes slightly.
This is where I would address a future PART III of this series but I'm not sure if we should go there. I feel like at this point it's not a character study anymore but becomes a plot-prediction theory. So let me know in comment section if you actually want a third part. The topic of it will be Aqua's current behaviour, the content of the movie and his ultimate goal. The irony of course is that this goal is born from delusion and trauma from his Grandfather.
The crow girl in Chapter 118 basically told him this: Your reason to be reincarnated as Gorou in the body of Aqua is to resolve your issues. The path you took doesn't do anything for this as your deep longing for Ai's resurrection/reincarnation symbolizes your fundamental misconception of what actually happened between you and her because you still perceive your grandfather's voice as your own voice and therefore as the truth. Thus you feel guilty for Ai's and your mother's death, thus you think the only way for redemption is to find her again in good health or to destroy yourself through the destruction of your father. But Ai's story ended, she played her role. She gave you everything you needed to overcome your Trauma and you gave her everyting she needed. You witnessed a real "Reenactment of Happiness" of your Mother when she gave birth to you, you witnessed the total rebuttal of your Grandfather's self-hatred when Ai confirmed you her happiness with the words "I love you". Why do you still value your grandfather's self-hatred as your's?
Of course the crow girl is kinda shady and brutal in her means. She guides but only in limited dosis. Because they - both Gorou and Ruby - have to archive healing through self-realization not through indoctrination. The reenactment prompts the MC's to self-realize the actual worth they inhabit but Aqua's tragedy is that right now it only prompts him into his Grandfather's indoctrination.
​
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Ruby for that matter will - and this is a loose prediction - self-realize her happiness in the Form of the Amaterasu-Myth with the cave and the mirrors in the Shoki myth variation: Tsukuyomi in the representation of her brother will hold a mirror in which she reflects herself as an Idol that is just as bright as Ai and overcomes her murder because her light lives now in Ruby-Amaterasu (Goddess of Sun). Izanagi (the father of Amaterasu) in the representation of Gorou will hold a mirror in which she reflects Sarina as the daughter of Gorou and overcomes her longing for a father-figure. He didn't die, he is actually alive! and supported her not only through her difficult years as Sarina but also in her life as Ruby unconditionally.
​
Thanks for reading.

I'm having difficulty securing GL insurance due to the nature of our business, so I guess I'm seeking any insight into what the next steps may be?
I own equipment for use in the golf course maintenance industry. We largely buy equipment from golf courses for resale, but the tricky part is that we also have tractors in inventory that we rent to clubs. The clubs have a contract that they sign and submit to us, which waives us of any liability for damages while tractors are in their possession. The problem is that including "rental" in any query for a GL quote is getting working against me and I keep getting denied.
I've been advised by others who do the same as what I do to just seek a "sales and services" general liability policy, but where I go wrong I guess is that I disclose too much information.
Does anyone have any insight on what I should look for or how I should phrase what we need? Due to having our contracts that shift liability, theoretically having the policy is a formality that the clubs are requiring us to have - outside of the common sense notion that you should cover your own butt anyway.

Any golf courses in the area that allow single golfers to play alone and won’t “pair you up” with any other group?
Trying to work on my game a bit and would rather have a round or two alone.

I (20m) have a friend from uni (21f) who is pregnant. Her mother and sisters are throwing a gender reveal for her. Her mother and stepfather are basically demanding that the father of the baby attend.
When she announced her pregnancy her family were not happy. One of the stipulations that her stepfather had if he was to support her and the child financially was that the father had to be involved to some extent with expenses etc. Nobody is forcing her to marry him or be in a relationship with him (as far as I am aware) but her family does not want her to be a single parent. Unfortunately for her, the father was a tinder date who blocked her on everything when she told him about the pregnancy. She really needs her stepfather and mother’s continued financial support since she doesn't have a paid job - her course requires her to do x amount of hours of industry experience so between that and her research project she does not have time - so she has been lying for months and pretending to have semi-regular contact with the baby’s father.
Our friends are mostly girls with only 2 guys. The other guy has met her family before and her sister knows he is gay, but they have not met me. So, my friend asked me to attend the gender reveal and say I was the baby’s father. I was initially conflicted and said I’d think about it. She dropped it after that for a few days. After talking about it with a friend, I decided I really did not want to because a.) this does not sound like the sort of lie you tell once, and idk how long I’d have to keep being involved and b.) while we are from completely different ends of the country, with social media I fear this could get to people in my hometown or my parents who may believe I have actually gotten a woman pregnant, which I have not. I explained this to her the next time I saw her and she looked disappointed, but agreed it was up to me.
However, for the past three weeks, most, if not all, of our friends - including one of my housemates - have been telling me how stressed out she is, that she guarantees it will be a one-time thing, and that I have really let her down. We spoke about it again yesterday and she tried to reassure me that she wouldn’t ask me again and that she shall make sure no pictures of me are taken/posted, but I find that unlikely. She was almost crying, confessing she had no one else to ask and begging me to reconsider. I feel awful about it, but know I’ll just be stressed about it getting out somehow. I have seen pictures of other people’s baby showers and refuse to believe that the father of the child can be omitted from all photos. My friends think I am over-thinking and making a bad situation even worse for her. AITA ?

Like most of my girlfriends, I'm in my mid-thirties and married. The only difference is the decision to start a family seemed so effortless for them, and it's been nothing but agonizing for me.
I'm still on the fence but mostly a no for many reasons (pregnancy/childbirth fears, mental health, finances, making sacrifices, the state of the world, etc.). When I first met my husband almost 15 years ago, I assumed that maternal pull would hit me a few years into our marriage, but we're approaching year 10 and still nothing.
The on-the-fence part is me not wanting to disappoint my husband and parents, the potential for regret and generally wanting to fit in with my friends who (thanks especially to social media) make it look so easy. (I know, definitely not reasons to have children.)
Fortunately, one of my very best friends has been an ally throughout all this. We regularly hang out with the same friends from college, all of whom have kids, so it was nice to have her there for get-togethers where 90% of the conversation was talk about kids and childbirth. We bonded over our shared ideology around parenthood and how we wished we weren't so pragmatic about the whole thing. I've cried to her about it —the possible regret, the fear of disappointing people and so on. It's always great to be supported, and it was so nice to have a like-minded friend who made me feel validated.
You can probably guess where this is going. Last week I received an ultrasound photo in a text from her. She's pregnant. A few months ago she told me some personal life events made her reconsider and that she and her husband had been trying, but I really didn't think it'd happen so fast. Even that conversation then was jarring for me, and to be honest I'm still in a little bit of shock.
And here's where I'm torn. I want so badly to be happy for my friend, and right now I can't find it in me. I wish the news hadn't come through text, because my prolonged silence didn't help things, nor did my less-than-enthusiastic response hours later ("I know this is something you wanted and I'm happy for you.")
I realize this all probably sounds selfish, and I acknowledge that I have a LOT of self work to do. But it's so hard to feel like part of your identity has been shaken when the one person you related to most has changed course. There's also an element of grief — mourning a friendship that's about to change forever.
I'm curious if any of you can relate. Maybe a friend's pregnancy altered things in some way for you. Maybe for better, maybe for worse. Any advice is always appreciated.

Hi team, I've been waiting for my Spousal outland sponsorship PR to come through and just received a letter asking for passport scans, eye colour, and photos along with a copy of the letter.
If I were outside Canada there's a link to a service that will send in hard copies for me, however in the details about where to send these doc, the email says: "If you are currently in Canada, you are not required to submit your passport and will be landed virtually. Please advise our office via webform within 5 days of receipt of this letter if you and/or any of your dependents are in Canada. Please include each person’s name/UCI and where they are currently staying/residing (in Canada or overseas)."
I am not provided an address to send the other docs to, just the webform. Being told I don't have to submit my passport is all very well, but my confusion arises about submitting the other documents such as photos. I've done this once before at the start of the application and they wanted hard copies. Seems the same now, as they ask for 2 copies with my details and the photographers studio's written on the back.
Am I to submit a webform to inform them that I'm already here and await further instruction? Or should I package up those documents digitally and submit them via the same webform, as I've not been provided a physical address to send them? The webform in question is the same generic fields as I've used to submit/amend extra docs throughout this process and is not specific to this, so it seems unclear.
If anyone has already been through this, or know what the best course of action is, please let me know asap! Very much appreciated!
Thanks!

I see a lot of people complaining about the speed of the discoveries, negative influence from the matthew family - increase in the number of deaths since they arrived, and finally the hateful opinion that Donna is always right or something. So I'll leave here what we have so far.
(please, if you have any new information, opinions or disagree with something say why below).
I personally like the fact that the family, Jade, Victor, Boyd, Sara, and Father Khatri (RIP) are trying their bests to figure out how this place works.
The whole family (+Jade) has already helped to discover three things:

• BiW and faraway trees, (re) discovered by Ethan (Victor already knew but he didn't tell anyone)
• Cave of the monsters, discovered by Thabita and Victor (and those who were digging that hole)
• Guy in the nearby radio tower, discovered by Jim and Jade (and those who were building the tower).

Comparing when just Boyd was trying to figure out more things about the world, I think despite the regrets, they're moving pretty fast since Matthew's family and Jade arrived.
Taking advantage of the hook,

• The talismas were found by Boyd
• The voices in the head/visions/ talk with monsters were "discovered" by Sara

And lastly:

• How Kill the Creatures, discovered by Boyd.

I don't know why some people complain when some character tries to do something different to advance the story. Of course there will be losses. Of course they can fail. But standing still while the monsters knock on the door is not an option.
They all want to go home in spite of everything. So of course they will put others and their own lives on the line to find out more.
Donna seems like a decent person and obviously she suffers from the death of her sister, but it seems to me that she wants to get everyone together under her command: to be quiet. I don't believe that will work forever.
Remember when an idiot opened the window in the colony house. Who was in charge? Who should have taken the situation? Now she appears pointing her finger in the face of one (Boyd) and the other (Jim) as if she had never been wrong.
Calm down there guys. Let the characters progress on their own.

Hello :-) So I understand I should ask an pro/fitter about this, but want to clear my head here too.
So I'm 192cm, that's about 6feet 3.5 inches and my wrist to floor is 37inches. According to the chart I should have 1/2-1" longer clubs (maybe) and try 2 upright (green)?
I know lie angle have something to do with your swing too, but I'm pretty sure I would benefit from not normal lie angle.
I started golfing again 2years ago, got an off the shelf Callaway set that is made longer, and found out (the hard way) that my local pro has made them 2" longer for done reason. He never asked me about my height.
Yesterday I was on a beginners training course (my club arranges free training for high handicap members) and one of the other pros telling me I home the clubs too high. No wonder I do when then are too long 😬
My plan is to go to another proshop and get this sorted out, but the reason I ask about the ping colors is I want to try out the ChipR and in the future switch to Ping.

I live in close proximity to a golf course and a ton of golf balls land into my backyard. Does anyone know the best way to ship golfballs domestically within the United States?

I'm kind of befuddled at Bridget's attitude towards interviewers and press during the GND days. She has repeatedly talked about how horrified she was at the attitudes of the people interviewing them, and how she didn't understand why they would ask invasive sexual questions, or questions about the girls' relationship with Hef/each other. She even mentions Kate Holmes: "they aren't asking HER about sex!" Well, of course not. Kate Holmes is an actress. The GND girls, while I love them, were, at that time, know solely for the fact that they participated in a reality show that revolved around their relationship with an octogenarian who published nude photos of them. I do NOT understand her confusion here.