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Your birthday is the perfect opportunity to remind you that my birthday is coming up soon. Happy birthday to someone I think about almost as much as I think about myself. Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. Congratulations on successful not becoming a teen mom. Birthdays are good for your health. I wish there was an even lazier way than social media to wish you a happy birthday. May you live so long your entire body resembles a scrotum.

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I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back.

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33 Funny Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes For Facebook

Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder. I find it hard to believe your entire body was in a uterus at one point. May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children. I searched a long time to find the perfect birthday card for you but ended up just sending this. May you live so long your entire body resembles a scrotum. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. Just wanted to wish you an extremely early happy birthday so I can get back to thinking about myself.

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  • Elisha 26 days ago

    I remember it like it was yesterday, even though now it's been 28 years. Mom and I decided it was time to get a serious cleaning done in the kitchen. We scrubbed the kitchen floors on our hands and knees, and then followed up with a hand applied wax. Then we tackled the oven. Not a self-cleaning oven, rather an old-fashioned gas oven which needed to be sprayed and scraped and scrubbed. This took the better part of a whole day.

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